Darwin Award Runner-Up
In rural Carbon County, PA, a group of men were drinking beer and discharging
firearms from the rear deck of a home owned Irving Michaels, age 27. The men
were firing at a raccoon that was wandering by, but the beer apparently
impaired their aim and, despite of the estimated 35 shots the group fired, the
animal escaped into a 3 foot diameter drainage pipe some 100 feet away from Mr.
Michaels deck. Determined to terminate the animal, Mr. Michaels retrieved a can
of gasoline and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke the animal out.
After several unsuccessful attempts to ignite the fuel, Michaels emptied the
entire 5 gallon fuel can down the pipe and tried to ignite it again, to no
avail. Not one to admit defeat by wildlife, the determined Mr. Michaels proceeded
to slide feet-first approximately 15 feet down the sloping pipe to toss the
match. The subsequent rapidly expanding fireball propelled Mr. Michaels back
the way he had come, though at a much higher rate of speed. He exited the
angled pipe "like a Polaris missile leaves a submarine," according to
witness Joseph McFadden, 31. Mr. Michaels was launched directly over his own
home, right over the heads of his astonished friends, onto his front lawn. In
all, he traveled over 200 feet through the air. "There was a Doppler
Effect to his scream as he flew over us," McFadden reported,
"Followed by a loud thud.". Amazingly, he suffered only minor
injuries. "It was actually pretty cool," Michaels said, "Like
when they shoot someone out of a cannon at the circus. I'd do it again if I was
sure I wouldn't get hurt."