- Assmosis - The process by which
some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss.
- Blamestorming - Sitting around in
a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed and who was responsible.
- Seagull Manager - A manager who
flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over
everything and then leaves.
- Blowing your buffer - Losing your
train of thought.
- Salmon day - The experience of
spending an entire day swimming upstream only to
get screwed and die in the end.
- Chainsaw consultant - An outside
expert brought in to reduce the employee
headcount, leaving the brass with clean hands.
- CLM - Career-limiting move - Used
among microserfs to describe ill-advised
activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is
within earshot is a serious CLM.
- Depotphobia - Fear associated with
entering a Home Depot because of how much money
one might spend. Electronics geeks experience
- Adminisphere - The rarefied
organizational layers beginning just above the
rank and file. Decisions that fall from the
adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate
or irrelevant to the problems they were designed
- Dilberted - To be exploited and
oppressed by your boss. Derived from the
experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic
strip character. "I've been dilberted again.
The old man revised the specs for the fourth time
- Flight Risk - Used to describe
employees who are suspected of planning to leave
the company or department soon.
- 404 - Someone who's clueless. From
the World Wide Web error message "404 Not
Found", meaning that the requested document
could not be located. "Don't bother asking
him...he's 404, man."
- Generica - Features of the
American landscape that are exactly the same no
matter where one is, such as fast food joints,
strip malls, sub-divisions. Used as in "We
were so lost in generica that I forgot what city
we were in."
- Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting
buildup of dirt and crud found on computer
- Ohnosecond - That minuscule
fraction of time in which you realize that you've
just made a BIG mistake.
- Percussive Maintenance - The fine
art of whacking the crap out of an electronic
device to get it to work again.
- Prairie Dogging - When someone
yells or drops something loudly in a "cube
farm" (an office full of cubicles) and
everyone's heads pop up over the walls to see
what's going on.
- Telephone Number Salary - A salary
(or project budget) that has seven digits.
- Umfriend - A sexual relation of
dubious standing or a concealed intimate
relationship, as in "This is Dale,
- Yuppie Food Stamps - the
ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs
everywhere. Often used when trying to split the
bill after a meal: "We all owe $8 each, but
all anybody's got is yuppie food stamps."