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- Assmosis - The process by which
some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss.
- Blamestorming - Sitting around in
a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed and who was responsible.
- Seagull Manager - A manager who
flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over
everything and then leaves.
- Blowing your buffer - Losing your
train of thought.
- Salmon day - The experience of
spending an entire day swimming upstream only to
get screwed and die in the end.
- Chainsaw consultant - An outside
expert brought in to reduce the employee
headcount, leaving the brass with clean hands.
- CLM - Career-limiting move - Used
among microserfs to describe ill-advised
activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is
within earshot is a serious CLM.
- Depotphobia - Fear associated with
entering a Home Depot because of how much money
one might spend. Electronics geeks experience
Shackophobia.
- Adminisphere - The rarefied
organizational layers beginning just above the
rank and file. Decisions that fall from the
adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate
or irrelevant to the problems they were designed
to solve.
- Dilberted - To be exploited and
oppressed by your boss. Derived from the
experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic
strip character. "I've been dilberted again.
The old man revised the specs for the fourth time
this week."
- Flight Risk - Used to describe
employees who are suspected of planning to leave
the company or department soon.
- 404 - Someone who's clueless. From
the World Wide Web error message "404 Not
Found", meaning that the requested document
could not be located. "Don't bother asking
him...he's 404, man."
- Generica - Features of the
American landscape that are exactly the same no
matter where one is, such as fast food joints,
strip malls, sub-divisions. Used as in "We
were so lost in generica that I forgot what city
we were in."
- Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting
buildup of dirt and crud found on computer
keyboards.
- Ohnosecond - That minuscule
fraction of time in which you realize that you've
just made a BIG mistake.
- Percussive Maintenance - The fine
art of whacking the crap out of an electronic
device to get it to work again.
- Prairie Dogging - When someone
yells or drops something loudly in a "cube
farm" (an office full of cubicles) and
everyone's heads pop up over the walls to see
what's going on.
- Telephone Number Salary - A salary
(or project budget) that has seven digits.
- Umfriend - A sexual relation of
dubious standing or a concealed intimate
relationship, as in "This is Dale,
my...um...friend."
- Yuppie Food Stamps - the
ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs
everywhere. Often used when trying to split the
bill after a meal: "We all owe $8 each, but
all anybody's got is yuppie food stamps."
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